Update on my illness

As I write this, I’m sitting in the Qantas Club lounge in Sydney Airport. For the last week I’ve been working with a customer installing a new IBM zEnterprise 114. It was a great week, full of learning and new experiences for both my colleague from the customer and me.
But as the highs of the week gradually fade, I settle in to the reality of returning home. What should be a happy time of reunion and catching up is… well, not. More on that another time — it’s the “something else” I alluded to when I first blogged about my depression, and I’m still not ready to share with the ‘Net. For now, let’s just say that all is not as it should be at home.
What is better is my health. I’m glad to say that I’m responding to treatment — my moods are better, I can rationalise things more, um, rationally, and I’m losing weight. I’ve had some disappointing things happen at work, and for the first time in ages I’ve been able to feel that disappointment without despair. I can feel, almost on a daily basis, small things that are better about my life and my emotional state. Yes, I am medicated, but I’m even okay with that too.
I apologise to the people that have been in contact with me with well wishes to whom I haven’t responded. Don’t think that I don’t appreciate your thoughts — in fact, the opposite is true. Knowing that there are people I’ve seldom (or even never) met that care about my condition enough to tweet or comment is one of the things that is keeping me going.
Getting help to deal with this illness is the best thing I’ve done in my life.
I just wish I’d done it sooner.